Football and Dissertations

From the standpoint of a student development theorist a college football game is a dissertation in and of itself.

I attended my first football game when OSU played Hawaii. Allow me to be clear – this was my first football game EVER. I know nothing about football. I know the scoring system but I couldn’t tell you the difference between a guard and a quarter back. The only reason I know those terms is because when I ask, the players tell me their positon.   It means nothing but I ask, none-the-less, just in case one day a trigger might be magically tripped in my brain that allows me to understand what a running back does…other than run – back – towards something – maybe – who really knows.  Incidently the hall in which I work houses the freshmen football players for Oregon State. A great group of guys for the most part, I have to say. One of the guys tried to explain football to me in a language I understand. The entire concept of “downs” has continually eluded me. So one of my players asked me to close my eyes and picture a pair of shoes at the check out counter that I really really wanted (my mind immediately strayed to a pair of Nine West red patent leather pumps). I am then told I am 10 aisles from the check out counter and in my hand is a credit card. I have four attempts to move the 10 aisles to my coveted pair of shoes. The catch is there are mean people that are going to try to take away my credit card because at the other end of the store there is a pair of shoes they really want but they need my credit card to buy them. It’s a race to see who can get to their pair of shoes first.   This was the best single explanation for football I have ever heard. For years people have preached yards, endzones, defensive line and other garble that meant nothing to me. This guy really knew how to speak a language I both understand and care about. Seriously, his wife is going to be a lucky woman.

Anyway my first football game. I went with one of my RA’s, Shelly Clark and one of the new RD’s who is in the CSSA program. This was a cultural experience for me. First, everyone wears orange. Not Larry Roper orange (a tame genteel, pumpkin spice) but bright, blind your eyes, flagger orange. It’s not like the 35,000 people that attended the game have a phone tree to call eachother and discuss coordinating colors. They just all show up in organge and they all magically match. I, sad to say, was a part of the perpetuation of poor fashion choices as I too donned bright Beaver Orange. Next, as you walk up to Reser students start taking out their student IDs. Why do they do this? There are no signs that say, please have your ID ready…they just do it because they know that’s how things go. I can’t get them to take their pizza boxes to the trash but within moments of getting in line they are digging in their pockets for their IDs. Some even walk into like with their ID already out, wielding it like Excalibur.

Next – you look at your ticket and see which section you are in. You enter the student section in your assigned area and immediately start to sneak as close to the 50 yard line as possible. This is hard for me.  I come from a theatre background…you have an assigned seat, people don’t sit in your seat and you don’t edge closer to the stage just because there is an empty seat.  This is not theatre, this is football and they don’t care.  I personally would rather have tickets a little closer to the end zone. I mean, I’d rather be closer to where the good stuff happens then farther away. If I go back to the shoe store analogy, why sit in the boot section when what I really want to see are the peep toed pumps? Anyway, after sneaking as close as possible to the 50 yard line people then stand on the bleachers (which incidentially have printed on themin large black block letters “Do not stand on bleachers”) to get a better look at the field. Then from a huge inflatable helmet on the stage right (I will always be a theatre geek at heart) side of the field the football team bursts forth to cheers and screams similar to what Ceasar must have heard upon his return home from “conquering” Egypt.

Then to my amazement, the freshmen in the audience picked up on the football culture as though they had been doing it all their lives.  These are people who have not spent a single day in the classroom or living in our residence halls.  They just came down for the game because…well, because they are freshmen at OSU and that’s what freshmen do, I guess.  There are all these arm movements, and things you do and say in time to the music or not…it’s all very complicated.

Realization to me…you know how when the other team has the ball, everyone is screaming and yelling?  All my life I have thoughts fans did that just because the other team had the ball and they were pouting.  Turns out, no, they do it so the players can’t hear the plays called from the sideline.  Not pouting, malicious.  And what’s with this high five stuff.  Whenever the Beaver’s made a touch down everyone starts cheering (totally understand) and high five-ing.  Really now, what’s that about?   Three guys in front of me turn around and start giving me high fives and I’m thinking, “Why are you giving me a high five…we didn’t just run the ball into the end zone. They did.  We aren’t dripping in sweat and wearing funky padding and ugly shoes…they are.   Where do you get off high five-ing like you are something special?”  But EVERYONE does it.  It’s a thing, a culture, a tradition and these freshmen, who have never been to a game before as a student pick up on it like they have been doing it since they were three.  It is truly stunning.  I can’t get them to study for their midterms but they can hum every little jingle the band plays.

Maybe that is what academia needs… a marching band.  Maybe if i had a marching band, students would clean up after themselves, study for their tests, and make good choices.  That’s it, I want a marching band!

Reflection as a way of life…thanks a lot, Jackie

Jackie, Don, Melissa, Jessica, Tom, Rich, Kris…I blame them all. I remember very distinctly telling my simply fabu Major Prof, Jackie Balzer, that I was done reflecting after my portfolio. I was taking a year off because I was reflected out. Today, I heard myself say to my staff, “I really need to reflect on that before I am prepared to make a decision.” It’s only been 5 months since I picked up the final copies of my portfolio. I have 7 months left on my reflection moratorium. A few short hours later I confessed to Joanna (a cohort mate) that I loved my blog because it allowed me to reflect on life and my career. When did it happen? When did reflecting become something I just do because it helps me focus and gives a clear path? I was sick, nigh unto death, of reflections during grad school and now I…jinkies, I cannot believe I am going to say this…I miss them. I miss a lot about grad school. I miss the routine, I miss the smell of new books (I went down into the bookstore and just stared at all the CSSA books with more than a twinge of longing the other day), I miss the built in face to face support of my cohort, I miss the sense of purpose. It is weird to be at OSU and not be here for grad school. It was what brought me here and now that it is done, I feel odd being here…almost as if I am an outsider, drifting without ballast or purpose.

Nothing prepared me for the transition from grad school to the professional world. It was talked about but the sense of loss was not covered. The sense of being unsupported and unsafe wasn’t discussed. We talked about job searching and authentic leadership…not the feelings aloneness. Tuckman would be intrigued…as a cohort we formed, stormed, normed…but I don’t think I emotionally adjourned.

Ironically, I’m going to end with a simple – this needs more reflecting.

The ups, the downs, the joys, the frowns…

Some reflections I wrote on my laptop throughout the Europe experience…

Dalkeith, Scotland.

So I’m not in a castle – technically it is a palace.  In two days I’ll be in a castle.   This won’t actually be posted until I get home because I forgot a thumb drive for my laptop, but know that as I type I am sitting at the top of a grand staircase in a comfy blue chair while the morning sun streams through the high paned windows.  Britt Q, another author on the blog, will be spending her summer in this fantastic, if a bit drafty palace.  Seriously, ladies and gentlemen…it is colder inside than it is outside.  Watch for Britt Q’s postings as I’m sure they will be rife with grand descriptions of what she is seeing and doing. 

As a reminder, my job is to blog on my internship.  As a part of my internship we are required to post about our challenges and successes.  I’ve opted to include them both in one blog and write them both while I am living my experience.  It could be argued that giving more time for reflect would be a better choice but logistically, I need to do this while I am here because I won’t have time when I get home prior to commencement.  Also, I feel there is merit in journaling about my experiences as they happen with my initial reflections.  There is something very honest about this style of reflecting…more raw than if I were to reflect well after the experience.  I’m sure in those reflections I will learn more and be able to apply my experiences in different ways but I am excited to share with you the “as I live and think them” experiences. 

This is my second day here and later we are off to Edinburgh today for free time.  Having been before I am excited to go back.  We had an orientation to the Wisconsin in Scotland program (tune in to Britt’s postings for more depth) yesterday and took a long walk on the estate  which is Patty’s (our hosts) cure to warding off jet lag – I think she is just cruel but it worked to some degree so I can’t really whine too much.  Thus far the most challenging part of the experience has been discovering my own identity within this group.  I am the only person from Oregon State and one of only two people on a trip of 28 who is a single (not here with someone from their institution).  My own identity is tied very closely to my job and “my place” wherever I live.  That has been thrown for a complete loop as I am no longer the RD (ironically I have heard me refer to myself as an RD to other people no less than four times – it’s almost as if I am reaffirming my own identity to myself) and I have no place at this point in time.  It’s been challenging at some points – when we arrived at our gate in Detroit everyone sat together – except me.  I felt very alone and yet instead of getting up to move I remained in my own seat.  I’m going to own the introvert in me was out in full force.  I really needed time to myself.  Last night we walked into Dalkeith for dinner (I had fish and chips…of course!) and I felt myself gravitating to the extroverted personalities in our group so I know I am ready to begin to put myself out there more. 

Part of the experience was an online portion of the class and I have to say I felt that to be a very disconnecting experience for me.   People didn’t seem to write replies to things on blackboard, probably because most people saw each other every day in class, but for me it was the only way to really connect with people.  I felt somewhat disenfranchised from the group upon arrival and now I am beginning to feel overwhelmed.  Everyone’s names and institutions are a big blob of goo in my brain.  I’ve gone from knowing everyone to knowing only me.  It’s so odd to feel this way.  I am normally a very confident individual but right now I feel like a little girl seeking approval.  I know in the days to come I will settle in and find where I belong but right now, despite the fantastic learning experience this is, I just want to go home.  No one ever has a pair of ruby slippers when I need one!  J

 

Alnwick (pronounced Annick), England

So I’m over the homesickness and having an absolute wonderful time!  We have been to Edinburgh University and Glasgow University (think Princeton and Stanford).   We’ve talked to quite a wide variety of their student services professionals and I am seeing how different their philosophical underpinnings are from those in the United States.  It is easy to get a little attitude about this and think we do a better job than they, but the reality is their retention and completion rates are phenomenal so something obviously works and works quite well.  I notice in the group a general learning towards the familiar.  That which is most like a US institution tends to be the one many people gravitate to while those institutions that have different values tend to be ones with whom people express dissatisfaction. 

We had a fun conversation today (Alnwick is the site of the St. Cloud study abroad program) on the topic of student development theory.  It was so good to talk theory again.  I’ve missed that.  Let it be known, missing theory is different than missing think cards…alumni and current students of CSSA will understand exactly what I am talking about.  Of course, I stuck by the tried and true…Jones and McEwen.  Seriously, I can make the MDI work for anything.  *sigh* LOVE it!  

It was interesting to hear of some of the challenges of running this type of program and some of the things Wade (our host) deals with on a daily basis.  I think, having heard him speak, I have ruled out this as a functional area for my future.  I believe in service learning, passionately, and think service trips abroad are a fantastic way to integrate learning into action and help develop a globally competent student and I would be excited and honored to lead these…I just don’t think I want to live abroad and coordinate semester long programs.  Woof!

 

Cambridge, England

I just felt the need to write someone while in Cambridge.  I don’t have much to say but I’m sitting here in one of the premiere schools in the world and it seemed stupid not to sit down and write something.  Today has been an enlightening experience.  We met with two gentlemen who serve as both professors and tutors (the equivalent of advisors in the US).  They also work on the admissions team.  I’ve often thought of Cambridge as a stuffy, elitist school and in my mind elitist meant white.  But it meant intentionally white – preventing anyone from a different race or ethnic background access to the same system as a white person would have.  This, I discovered, is a very American lens to bring to a situation…in some ways.  For example, Cambridge could really care less what color your skin is; they were quite clear on this point.  Grades are all that matter to them.  If a person doesn’t not have top notch grades they have no prayer of admittance to Cambridge.  They were almost proud of the fact race played no part in their admissions one way or the other…until it was pointed out that even in the UK those from socio-economically disadvantaged backgrounds are statistically still those of non-Caucasian heritage and that people living in those conditions do not have the same access to educational opportunities as those with comfortable means of sustaining themselves.  It doesn’t matter to them…the standards have been set for Cambridge and it is what it is.  This is something that is going to require more thought and reflection on my part before I can draw a conclusion. 

 

London, England

Tomorrow I head for home.  This has been a wonderful experience and now I am ready to go home, see my puppy, sleep in my own bed, and sit down in a restaurant and be served ice water automatically. 

Below are two things I have continued to think about since our first days in the country that I think will end up as most influential in this learning experience.  Please know that these only reflect the professional things I am mulling about at the moment – I experienced key personal growth as well but am not prepared to delve into that at this time – we fly out in 11 hours and I don’t have enough time!

·         The salience of identities are irrevocably linked with the transitions a person experiences.   

·         Student Affairs in the United States seems to come with a “group think” notion.  We do things very similar from institution to institution and I think shared values can become a rut (it did for me).  It’s good to take a step back and see what other countries are doing to remind ourselves of how different success can look.

 

Corvallis, OR

It’s nice to be home.  This experience has been great for me to look in depth at my own dualistic tendencies and see the world beyond Oregon State University and American Higher Education.  Being thrown into a situation where my identity within the group was undefined has been fascinating to look at from the perspective of a woman fascinated by identity development.  My own identity has been clarified in some ways for me and is very murky in others because of this experience.  Certain identities are definitely more salient here than they were abroad just as certain identities in the UK were almost entirely new to me.  All in all this has been a fantastic capstone experience for me and look forward to, in the coming months and years, uncovering more and more about this experience that has relevance to my philosophies and values surrounding Student Affairs and therefore impacts my practice. 

 

 

 

Universities of Edinburgh and Glasgow

These two are basically the Princeton and Stanford of the British Isle.  It’s a little odd to think of them thus given they are older, but as far as university quality, for those than are unaware, our Ivy League Schools come the closest to anything of this kind back in the States. 

University of Edinburgh

We started our day here in the Residential Life program.  There seems to be a bit of a values shift happening within this department.  Traditionally this has been the Accommodations office but the director of the department (The Tom Scheuermann in my world) attended ACUHO-I last year and came back fired for change with a bunch of knew knowledge under his belt and set about to make changes that, as of the time I visited, were only a couple of weeks old.  Their program now bears the moniker Residential Life and they are currently in the planning stages of developing support programs similar to what is standard (at least at OSU).

A little vocab before we move on:

Freshers = Freshmen,  Accommodations = Residential Education/Life,  Allocations = Room Assignments, Twined = Double Rooms, En Suite = Bathroom within a room rather than a shared or common bathroom.

We were greeted upon our arrival by Lynn and Jenny.  In my world, Lynn is Cindy Empey and Jenny is Kathryn Magura.  If you are interested in the actual nuts and bolts of training, structure, room assignments, applications, cost etc. just ask me.  I took extensive notes, but for now and going to try to synthesize the experience. 

The mission of the Res. Life program is: “To assist students with the transition from home to the university and to offer support while in our accommodation.”  I and others in the group noticed nothing in the mission or within the presentation about supporting the academic mission of the institution or supporting the holistic development of the students.  Their program model offers social opportunities but they teach no study skills, time management or wash-your-laundry-like-this skills.  None o the basic, or at least but I know as basic, life skills education.  This is changing with the advent of the departmental name change.  Lynn said she could measure RA success by the spring semester numbers are programs RAs put on.  If the numbers dwindle and programming essentially dies out, they did well connecting people to their own support networks (there is no student governance) – if the numbers go up or remain steady, the RAs failed.  I kind of laughed as I tried to imagine Cindy saying something like that. 

One thing I wish we could bring home is the way in which support services communicate with each other.  Though they do have a FERPA type regulation it is not based in the reasoning ours is.  It has more to do with the fact the students are 18 and thus adults and less to do with the background and history piece of FERPA that protects student rights – they really have nothing like that.  However, the have very strong interdepartmental relationships that allows them to share information with other student services departments on campus.  According to Lynn this prevents students from playing one person against the other and also prevents students from from having to tell their story 12 times while seeking help.    I often wonder if a shared database of student information that faculty and student affairs folks could take notes in for certain students wouldn’t be helpful.  That way I, as an RD, would know if Jane Smith’s faculty in biology was worried about depression and could find ways to help her address it. 

Some things that were not present in the conversation that I am used to hearing were discussions on philosophy of student services, relationships, institutional and departmental values, student development and a conduct process that is focused on development rather than punishment.  Seriously, ask me about their conduct process – one night of poor choices can literally ruin the rest of your life.

University of Glasgow

The University of Glasgow was founded in 1451.  For a little historic perspective – James II of Scotland sat on the throne, Scotland and England still had separate monarchies (otherwise known to the Scots as the “good old days”), Christopher Columbus was born in this year, and the world was still five years away from the first printed book.  Timothy Joseph,  this would be an appropriate place to use the word “old.”  Hopefully with this context, that word will never use that word in conjunction with me again. 

It was implied several times while we were there race was a non-issue on campus and had been for hundreds of years.  I would love to get some student perspectives on that particular thought.  Evidently gender bias was far more of an issue than that of race.  U of G was not desegregated until the 1950s as far as gender was concerned and I noticed they still speak very much in terms of men and women.  The idea of identity and a gender continuum is not a part of their vocabulary.  The topic of diversity and equality brought up some interesting conversation.  The woman was quite adamant that they felt it was wrong to focus on support services for special groups (various racial minorities, sexual orientations, women etc) because if you set apart special groups they you were, in essence saying, the student was not equal and that by focusing on the difference you didn’t allow yourself to celebrate the similarity.  The general consensus seemed to be that the models we operate under in the US defeats our purpose of inclusion and inherently promotes inequality.  I’m not done thinking about this one. 

Joanna, Amanda, Leann and Gretchen…hold on to your hats…U of G has a HUB!!!  They call it the Hub, it looks much like ours (lots of glass, square building though, two floors) and is so similar to what we designed it is not funny.  They are just finishing construction but when it is done the first floor will house a variety of engagement and student services departments.  The idea being this is one stop shopping for students and if the service the student needs is not found in the Hub, then an appointment can be made directly from there so the student is still served from one spot.  The upper floor is fabulous cafeteria/food court.  Everyone is so excited about this streamlining of their student services.  I must admit I was pretty excited even though it has some fundamental differences from ours, you can’t believe hos similar it is – THE HUB LIVES!!

Many of the same language I found missing at the University of Edinburgh, I found missing here as well.  Of the 6 or 7 people who talked to us only one expressed her personal values regarding student services and she was US educated in Arizona….go PAC 10!  Aside from her, no one really talks about values or philosophies of student services, leadership, equality, or student development.  They do seem to love their jobs, find joy in their work, and see the value in their work, but there doesn’t seem to be any foundation under that in the same way we value and determine foundation. 

All in all it was a very interesting day and I have a lot of meaning making left to do.  At this point, I’m not entirely sure what all this means.  Obviously our values differ as one would expect but their college success rate tops 90% so you know they are doing something that is working for their students.  I need some more time to really sit down and think about this/verbally process with someone who is not experiencing this with me.  Anyone up for coffee when I get home?

I’m off to pack.  We leave Scotland today and are off for Alnwick via Holy Island.  I’m not sure what Internet service is going to be like from here on out…so if I don’t get to post as much, I’ll write when I can! 

 

Required Introductory Reflection

In this exercise, I was asked to discuss the areas where I feel confident about my international experience, as well as apprehensions I may have. I was also asked to discuss what I would like to learn in this class and relate that to my future goals.

 

This internship experience appealed to me because it allows me to really challenge that which I think I know.  In the History of American Higher Education class Tom Scheuermann said, “Everything we know, we know in context.”  This has been a very powerful quote for me during the course of my last two years in the CSSA program that has led to deeper and deeper reflections about my ideas of knowledge.  What is knowledge?  Indulge me for a moment; is there such a thing as “general knowledge”?  We all bring such specific lenses to our learning and worldview that I wonder at the likelihood of general knowledge.  What if knowledge is specific to the learner because of the context the learner brings to the information?  If that is the case, we might have similar knowledge but it wouldn’t be general, it would be specific to our own experiences and lenses. 

 

Though it appears I have toddled off on an existential rabbit trail, I have not.  I have been fortunate enough to have fantastic experiences in my 28 years (which, Timothy Joseph, is not old) that have each contributed to my body of knowledge and worldview in a very unique manner.  It is easy for me to remain in my comfort zone.  If there is anything I love more than my black and white world (in student affairs speak one would say I have an affinity for dualistic tendencies) it is my comfort zone (in RA terminology one would say I am control freak).  I want to be intentional about challenging my comfort zones so I don’t become closed off to the world beyond my experiences.  I know that what I know, I know in context, but if I continue to challenge my context I will grow exponentially.  That is the key reason this experience is so important to me.  I have worked in higher education for seven years and have spent two intensive years of training for an career in higher education – all pertaining to American institutions.  I want to challenge that information with other ideas, traditions, systems and organizational structures.  This is one of my key professional development goals over the course of my career. 

 

As far as my areas of confidence within this experience I am glad that I have been to the UK.  My perceptions of what the UK is or “should be” in my mind is very clear.  I have experience within the country and several of the cities I will be in and that is important to me as I feel it frees me to look even deeper than I would have been able to dealing with culture shock and unmet expectations.  I go back with a very honest, realistic idea of what this experience is going to be from a cultural standpoint.  Another area in which I feel confident is my ability to not be the obnoxious American tourist.  Shocking though some may find this to be, I can be quiet and demure.  When it comes to representing my country well and not offending others I find especially strong motivation. 

 

I am so honored to have this opportunity and I look forward to making the most of this experience from both and academic and cultural perspective. 

 

Required Cultural Reflection

This post covers a required cultural reflection.  We were asked to watch an American television show and view it as though from an outsiders point of view.  We were to try to identify American cultural values from the television show – not the values we hold but the values the show espouses.  I chose the comedy genre. May I just say, this was a sad, depressing activity; there are few comedic shows out there that send positive messages about American cultural norms. 

Cultural Values & Behaviors Reflection

 

I elected to review an episode of Will and Grace for this project.  I find this to be a relatively entertaining sitcom which made it challenging because I had never viewed this show as a part of a cultural norming exercise.  The show is successful because it is a comedy, and because it is, what I call, equal opportunity offensive.  No one is safe from the barbs and stereotypes the show pitches at the audience at the speed of light – the characters make fun of themselves as well as every other oft stereotyped group or organization; each character also represent stereotypes of their own.                

 

            Some of the values, norms, standards and habits I saw in the episode were: work as a key priority, high value being placed on platonic relationships, working out at the gym, fashion as a part of identity, personal self-worth directly connected to being in a romantic relationship, seeking romantic relationships at the cost of other priorities, comfort with various dimensions of ones identity being based largely on social context, and the predominance of white leading characters (the only person of color is an ill-treated servant). 

 

          Though, with the description above, one wonders who would want to be like these characters, people do aspire to be like these individuals.  I know, because I permed my hair (to very unattractive results) to look like Grace, I admire Karen’s fashion sense and I have on occasion employed some of Jack’s over the top physical comedy to cut tensions among my RA group.  Much like each of us, it is the flaws that make these characters human and give us something with which to identify.  If I was not a resident of the United States I would think religion is of key cultural relevance to Americans, that slender is desirable, as is wealth, that American’s are driven by their work and appearance, those without romantic relationships are insecure and undesirable, and while there are a few individuals that hate those identifying as GLBTQ, they aren’t dangerous, and the majority of the population are accepting.

 

            As I think about what this means to me and my preconceptions of the British and British culture it takes on different meaning because of my previous time in the UK.  I go with a very realistic of the culture of the UK but I distinctly remember my experiences the first time I spent time in the UK.  I selected England and Scotland as my vacation destination because, I reasoned, I’m going on my own so I’m going to make it easy on myself and go to a country where they speak my language.  Though English is technically spoken, there is American English, British English, Scottish English and in some cases dialects based on the region of England.   The accents were heavy and required me on many occasions to ask for clarification. If I didn’t understand on the third try or so, I’d just pretend I understood because I was embarrassed I couldn’t understand a language I supposedly spoke.

 

            Most of my preconceived notions were formed by the reading I had done in undergrad.  I was a Medieval British Literature major and spent a lot of time reading medieval period pieces as well as Shakespeare, Jane Austen, and others.  I researched period England and knew more about those time periods than I did present day United Kingdom.  This was made clear upon setting foot in London.  I don’t know if I expected horses and buggies, and women in ruffed colors or what – but the cultural diversity and segregation of London was not something I had expected.  I am excited to go back now that my rose colored glasses have been shattered, culture shock will be less consuming and I will be more capable of participating in the culture rather than just observing it and trying to make sense of my expectations versus the reality in which I found myself.